He means well, he really does. All he wants is for us to be perfect, that’s all. I mean, it’s in our best interest, right? Just think about how he tracks us down, shows up wherever we go. Why, he even looks over our shoulders and tells us when our hair isn’t perfect or our clothes are too tight.
He tries extra hard when he gets inside our minds. After all, he’s just trying to make us think the right things. Like the other day when I was shopping and a nice lady came over to help me. She works there and that’s her job. I just wanted to pick out a new suit and she put her hand on my shoulder and told me how handsome I was. Then, just like that, he shows up, reminding me how I’m supposed to think.
I know the sales lady could read my expression. I was just trying to be nice to her and he just stared at me. When he finally spoke he sounded just like my dad accusing me of flirting with her. I felt like I did when I was a teenager. He seemed to like that. He finally shut up, I mean … got quiet.
I stopped talking to him then. He knew I was ticked. He told me I couldn’t call him S. E. until I straightened up.
That’s when the doorbell rang. It was Ego. He said he could hear us fighting and wanted to see if he could help.
I told him how S.E. was getting bossy and pushing his weight around. He must’ve heard me because he stormed into the room and called me little id again… he said he meant to call me id-iot. That hurt.
I reached for something to throw at him but he just disappeared. He’s always doing that. Drives me nuts! All I want is to have what I want. After all, I’m like an adult, really!
Ego just smiled and asked us both to have a seat. Mr. Fancy Pants S.E. reappeared looking smug like he was better than me. Ugh!
Ego talked on, and on. I could not get him to stop. It must’ve irked S.E. too because he started finding fault with Ego.
What happened next is something we’ve done before. S.E. and I shared a knowing look. Then we ganged up on Ego. S.E. started telling him how mediocre he was while I grabbed a bag of chips and started crunching on them, right by his ear. It drove him crazy.
I mean, after all, who does he think he is? Mr. Peacemaker? We don’t need him.
After it was all over, S.E. and I went out for something to eat. The whole time I was eating he just stared at me like I was a glutton. Yeah, I know, he means well even if he’s pushy. At least we understand each other.
All of our friends say that we’re two sides of a coin. Actually, when he’s sad, I may act up but I really just want him to approve of me. I’ll even act like I believe him…just for the company. I’m not codependent or anything, I just think that this whole life thing would be easier without Mr. Keep-us-on-the-same-page Ego. He tries too hard. I’d rather swing around with S.E. When he’s up, I’m down. When I’m down, he’s up.
At least we understand each other even though to most everyone else he is misunderstood.
Think about it. Most people think Ego is S.E. They say stuff like, “he has a huge ego!” That’s all wrong though. Ego’s actually a wimp, but he’s arrogant because he assumes he can get us all calmed down and make us get along with each other. What’s the fun in that? At least with S.E. and me it’s always a crazy time.
You may not like him, but I just think he’s misunderstood. So am I.
Me, Myself, and Id